You also get the “I must make the simplest transaction absurdly difficult for no apparent reason” shopper:
Hi Alice, I want one of your pies, I’m situated at <location 40km from where you are> and I have $2.98 in cash. Would it be possible for you to meet me 26.7km away from my house where I’ll give you the $2.98 in cash, and then the remaining balance in a series of travelers cheques, one of which is from a country which no longer exists but I assure you it can still be converted to legal tender if you’re willing to make a quick stop at the Belarusian Embassy? Also what kind of apples are in the pie? If the amount of baking apples relative to other apples is above 68.7% I can’t eat it or I’ll die, but anything below that amount is fine.
I’m not sure which other Republican candidates could really step up. Aside from Trump there’s DeSantis, who seems to be imploding and I think hates Trump anyway, Chris Christie (who called him a ‘One Man Crime Wave’ lol) and most of the others I haven’t even heard of before.
But there is also Mike Pence who is truly a wild card - there’s a reasonable chance Trump literally tried to have him killed and yet he still defends him for some reason - so if anyone is bonkers enough to make it to the White House and then set Trump loose, it’d probably be him.