Sometimes people mix up the order of things and thus the cause and effect. For instance, with some medical issues, doctors have thought things like “oh, you went on this extreme diet, then you lost weight and had gastric issues”. No, I lost weight and had gastric issues, so I went on an extreme diet. In this case, i think the misogyny precedes lack of success at finding a partner. It can also be a situation of giving up too soon. For me, middle school and high school were so horrible in various ways that i assumed I was 100% doomed - I didn’t realize that life after 20 is very different. It still has high school social aspects, but it’s a lot better in many ways.
Be more accepting of yourself and follow those passions. Nobody cares in your 20s what you do in your spare time, as long as it is something. There is nothing more boring than a person who has no passions and just exists.
If I was to redo my 20s. What worked was going to university in my mid 20s. I was able to finish it much quicker and made some close friends during by that time as well as set my career path going.
What I wish I had done was move away from the city I grew up in. I only did it in my late 20s and I regret not doing it sooner.
Have lots of social interactions. It’s valuable. Set yourself up career wise. Always check to know you haven’t hit a ceiling where you’re working. Exercise and travel lots would be my key takeaways.
Eh I’d say experiment if you want, but be responsible about it. Don’t let it consume your life or have priority over family, friends, work, etc. If you’re going to party, best to get it out of your system when you’re young, when consequences are less impactful.
And if you do, do the fun stuff like weed, cocaine, shrooms, LSD, stuff like that. Don’t fuck with the dangerous stuff like heroin, fentanyl, meth, or pills like xanax or other benzos. Also alcohol can be dangerous too.
Unless you are not in a mentally healthy place, or know you are susceptible to addiction. Then don’t even try.
Doing drugs was good for me, but more than doing drugs was being selective about it. I smoked pot sparingly and dropped acid a few times when I was pretty sure I was in a good place mentally.
Always check to know you haven’t hit a ceiling where you’re working
Disagree. Sometimes its perfectly fine to hit a ceiling if you are comfortable where you are and are withing comfortable means. This always look for better is exhausting, and 100% guarantees you will never like your job.
To be clear, I am NOT advocating that people should stay in dead end job they hate. Do not under any circumstance willingly stay at a job you hate. you only get one life, dont make it about work or money.
Of course, there are exceptions, but try to say yes more than you’d initially want. If coworkers are going out for drinks after work, but you’d rather go home and stream/game/etc, go out. Same for other social activities.
Find exercise that’s fun, that you will continue to do for the rest of your life. Exercise regularly. You don’t need to get swole, but it staves off mental health better than anything.
Compare beers to sodas. If you would feel odd drinking 5 sodas in a row, you should feel odd drinking 5 beers in a row. Don’t be the last guy at the bar/party.
Get fit by finding something you enjoy that gets your heart going, track your spending, learn cook healthy meals, listen well and develop empathy. Good things will come.
Let go of the small things and just be. It’s not exactly “don’t give a fuck,” but it’s close. Aim for meeting people and going out to do things, not necessarily specific people or popular things, just good people and things that are fun for you outside of the house. Realize you will grow and change a lot in your 20s, and so will everyone around you; so if you have a huge crush on someone your age that doesn’t like you back that way, then tell yourself you might really dislike them in 5 years so it’s not a big loss if they don’t like you now. It’s also OK to let friends go if you have an attraction to them that isn’t returned, because you have to protect your mental health. It’s OK to not drink or do drugs, but it’s also OK to drink and do drugs… just don’t do either to extremes and don’t be extreme about not doing drugs/alcohol. Try joining clubs for different things, even things you’ve never done. Realize most people don’t have things figured out in their 20s and that you can make mistakes. Make mistakes. Be well-rounded. It’s cool to play video games and DnD, but don’t JUST do that (especially if you want to meet women). Get clothes that fit properly, not necessarily expensive or cool clothes. A completely plain t-shirt that fits well (go to Target and buy every color of their Goodfellow everywhere V-neck T for $8 each) plus a pair of jeans that aren’t baggy and some Adidas shoes is an outfit you can wear everyday that will look good and is so comfortable.
really depends on the drug imo… It is like playing the lottery… I know people who have permanent health issues (ie - halucinations) now as a result of cannabis and my father died of an OD and got started on hard drugs via a laced joint. I’m not going to be an asshole about it but I really wouldn’t recommend doing drugs.
And that’s totally your choice, but if you judge or avoid others because of their choices then you will be limiting who will be comfortable hanging out with you.
Take care of yourself, dress in a way that makes you look your best, and pursue what you want. Also be fun to be around. Moderately attractive and fun beats out hot and miserable nearly every time
You could join the AirForce. Get a degree or two out of it and get to travel some. 4 years isn’t a terrible commitment. I’d avoid the navy, army, or Marines tho, unless you also want to aim for medical disability lol
I was 21 when I joined up. Got my batchelors, saw the world, met some people, did some things. Now I’m settled where I want doing the career I want. I credit the navy with a lot of the growing up/maturing I did.
Sometimes people mix up the order of things and thus the cause and effect. For instance, with some medical issues, doctors have thought things like “oh, you went on this extreme diet, then you lost weight and had gastric issues”. No, I lost weight and had gastric issues, so I went on an extreme diet. In this case, i think the misogyny precedes lack of success at finding a partner. It can also be a situation of giving up too soon. For me, middle school and high school were so horrible in various ways that i assumed I was 100% doomed - I didn’t realize that life after 20 is very different. It still has high school social aspects, but it’s a lot better in many ways.
Please teach me how to make the best out of my 20s!
Be more accepting of yourself and follow those passions. Nobody cares in your 20s what you do in your spare time, as long as it is something. There is nothing more boring than a person who has no passions and just exists.
If I was to redo my 20s. What worked was going to university in my mid 20s. I was able to finish it much quicker and made some close friends during by that time as well as set my career path going. What I wish I had done was move away from the city I grew up in. I only did it in my late 20s and I regret not doing it sooner.
Have lots of social interactions. It’s valuable. Set yourself up career wise. Always check to know you haven’t hit a ceiling where you’re working. Exercise and travel lots would be my key takeaways.
Great advice, thanks!
Same here. I finished my BA at 27 and I went on to take an MA and then a PhD 10 years later.
One more piece of advice: don’t do drugs.
Eh I’d say experiment if you want, but be responsible about it. Don’t let it consume your life or have priority over family, friends, work, etc. If you’re going to party, best to get it out of your system when you’re young, when consequences are less impactful.
And if you do, do the fun stuff like weed, cocaine, shrooms, LSD, stuff like that. Don’t fuck with the dangerous stuff like heroin, fentanyl, meth, or pills like xanax or other benzos. Also alcohol can be dangerous too.
Unless you are not in a mentally healthy place, or know you are susceptible to addiction. Then don’t even try.
Doing drugs was good for me, but more than doing drugs was being selective about it. I smoked pot sparingly and dropped acid a few times when I was pretty sure I was in a good place mentally.
Disagree. Sometimes its perfectly fine to hit a ceiling if you are comfortable where you are and are withing comfortable means. This always look for better is exhausting, and 100% guarantees you will never like your job.
To be clear, I am NOT advocating that people should stay in dead end job they hate. Do not under any circumstance willingly stay at a job you hate. you only get one life, dont make it about work or money.
One tip, say yes more than you say no.
Of course, there are exceptions, but try to say yes more than you’d initially want. If coworkers are going out for drinks after work, but you’d rather go home and stream/game/etc, go out. Same for other social activities.
As someone in their 20s who detests that kind of thing and wouldn’t ever say yes, what’s the reasoning behind saying yes?
Drunk people are awful, and going out is loud and annoying. Is it just that it’s a good skill to be able to do things that make you miserable?
No, it’s good to improve your social skills
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Find exercise that’s fun, that you will continue to do for the rest of your life. Exercise regularly. You don’t need to get swole, but it staves off mental health better than anything.
Compare beers to sodas. If you would feel odd drinking 5 sodas in a row, you should feel odd drinking 5 beers in a row. Don’t be the last guy at the bar/party.
Just build healthy daily habits.
Get fit by finding something you enjoy that gets your heart going, track your spending, learn cook healthy meals, listen well and develop empathy. Good things will come.
Let go of the small things and just be. It’s not exactly “don’t give a fuck,” but it’s close. Aim for meeting people and going out to do things, not necessarily specific people or popular things, just good people and things that are fun for you outside of the house. Realize you will grow and change a lot in your 20s, and so will everyone around you; so if you have a huge crush on someone your age that doesn’t like you back that way, then tell yourself you might really dislike them in 5 years so it’s not a big loss if they don’t like you now. It’s also OK to let friends go if you have an attraction to them that isn’t returned, because you have to protect your mental health. It’s OK to not drink or do drugs, but it’s also OK to drink and do drugs… just don’t do either to extremes and don’t be extreme about not doing drugs/alcohol. Try joining clubs for different things, even things you’ve never done. Realize most people don’t have things figured out in their 20s and that you can make mistakes. Make mistakes. Be well-rounded. It’s cool to play video games and DnD, but don’t JUST do that (especially if you want to meet women). Get clothes that fit properly, not necessarily expensive or cool clothes. A completely plain t-shirt that fits well (go to Target and buy every color of their Goodfellow everywhere V-neck T for $8 each) plus a pair of jeans that aren’t baggy and some Adidas shoes is an outfit you can wear everyday that will look good and is so comfortable.
really depends on the drug imo… It is like playing the lottery… I know people who have permanent health issues (ie - halucinations) now as a result of cannabis and my father died of an OD and got started on hard drugs via a laced joint. I’m not going to be an asshole about it but I really wouldn’t recommend doing drugs.
And that’s totally your choice, but if you judge or avoid others because of their choices then you will be limiting who will be comfortable hanging out with you.
Take care of yourself, dress in a way that makes you look your best, and pursue what you want. Also be fun to be around. Moderately attractive and fun beats out hot and miserable nearly every time
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I guess as long as they’re not maxxed out lol
Oh god no I’m joking dude no don’t do that lol
You could join the AirForce. Get a degree or two out of it and get to travel some. 4 years isn’t a terrible commitment. I’d avoid the navy, army, or Marines tho, unless you also want to aim for medical disability lol
Don’t serve the evil empire
Worked out ok for me
I was 21 when I joined up. Got my batchelors, saw the world, met some people, did some things. Now I’m settled where I want doing the career I want. I credit the navy with a lot of the growing up/maturing I did.
That’s not what this link says
Yeah, i drink wine all day and can’t actually read.