Caption for the blind: sometimes when you put your trousers down to pee, a they fold in such a way that there is a large crease blocking the line between your dick and the toilet. Unsuspecting of this you start to pee (this crease is not a regular occurrence), and only end up finding out when it’s too late.
You’re a cyclops and thus lack in depth perception, leading to you pissing waffle pattern on your lumpy legs?